‘WINGS’ Support Group
(Divorce and Separation Recovery Programme)
Next Group Begins January 2013.
Divorced or Separated?
Are you feeling hurt, rejected, angry, confused, isolated or guilty? You are not alone – these are common feelings associated with one of life’s most traumatic experiences.
Regardless of the reasons for the break-up, this group can help you in a proven, structured way to deal with the practical and emotional challenges that you may find yourself now facing.
Our step by step programme is based upon the belief that given support, trust and the right guidance, participants will discover within themselves the inner resources they need to begin to re-build their lives and reshape their future.
The course is designed to bring people in similar circumstances together in a friendly, supportive atmosphere so that they can mutually help one another deal with the every day feelings of the separating and divorced.
This is a 12 Week Course (one evening a week)
The course co-facilitators are: Maurice Kelly Dip L.C. Family Mediator (Friarylaw) and Berni McGuill Dip L.C. Family Mediator (Friarylaw).
If you need to contact one of us outside of the course times you can do so by:
Telephone: Reception 042 9351578
Maurice 0872 999 866
Berni 0872 049 047
The venue is: See Change Coaching Practice,
Park Street Medical Centre,
Each week a short break (refreshments provided) and a concluding therapeutic relaxation session are included.
At the times of the classes, Free Car Parking is available in the Ramparts Road car park immediately adjacent to the See Change Practice offices (access via Ramparts Road).
(Divorce & Separation Recovery Programme)
The following sessions form the basis of a flexible 12 week programme, which may be adapted to suit the needs of participants. This educational support programme is aimed to help those going through divorce or separation and focuses onofferingsupport and guidance to participants so that they will discover, within themselves, the inner resources they need to begin to re-build their lives and reshape their futures.
Overview of the 12 weeks
Session 1 – Getting to know each other
- Introduction to the course
- Getting to know each other
- Exploring group expectations
- Agreeing group agreements & protocols
Session 2 – Denial & Fear
- To understand why it is that relationships do have to end.
- To understand how we react to events which are traumatic through denial.
- Take a look at your former relationship, your former partner, and yourself.
- Accepting & looking forward.
- Identifying fears that the divorce/separation has engendered
- Understanding the immobilising effect of fears and anxieties and how they prevent us from taking action to get what we really want.
- Identifying the next steps we need to take to get what we really want
Session 3 – Adaptations
- Looking at your past relationship and seeing the patterns of your behaviour and where they came from.
- Understanding why these behavioural adaptations are sometimes outgrown by one partner and how they can cause the relationship to end.
- To find who you really are
Session 4 – Grief
- To identify and recognise the symptoms of grief
- To allow yourself to grieve- it’s necessary / vital!
Session 5 – Improving Self Worth
- To understand how divorce/separation can undermine feelings of self-worth
- To discover and acknowledge your true self -worth
- To begin to reshape a new self-image
Session 6 – Anger
- To learn to accept that anger is part of the human condition
- To learn constructive ways of expressing anger
- To develop internal resources to deal with other people’s anger
Session 7 – Guilt & Rejection
- To understand feelings of guilt and rejection
- To understand where these feelings come from and how they can effect us
Session 8 – Transitions
- Understanding influences from your family of origin
- Tired of doing the ‘should’s’ you’ve always done? Instead make your own choices about how you’ll live your life
- Its time to dump the leftovers which remain from your past and from your previous relationships
Session 9 – Openness & Trust
- Learn to foster openness in our relationships
- Begin to trust again
- Gain a deeper understanding of love, examine attitudes towards sex and sexuality
- Understand more fully the need to recover from your past relationship before entering into another long-term relationship
- To understand how you use masks to emotionally distance others.
- To remove at least one of your masks by sharing it with others.
- To learn how taking off a mask increases your emotional closeness and intimacy with others.
- To learn to use affirmations that will help you become more authentic.
Session 10 – Love
- To learn more about loving yourself.
- To gain a better understanding of ways you can be more loving to others.
- To learn that your capacity to love others (and to receive love from them) is closely related to your ability to love yourself.
- To learn about some different styles of loving such as friendship/ romantic/ altruistic/ game playing/ possessive/ practical.
- To learn and use affirmations that will help you develop more love for yourself and others.
- To touch on the need for boundaries in all your relationships – especially the closest ones.
Session 11 – Relatedness
- To understand how growing relationships can be a part of your personal growth process.
- To understand the need for nurturing that can be a part of growing relationships.
- To help you feel empowered to make necessary choices and to be yourself in your relationships.
- To understand ways of helping growing relationships to become long- term relationships when appropriate and learn that they don’t have to become long-term in order for you to grow and benefit from them.
- To give yourself permission to take some relationship risks and go out and experiment with growing relationships.
- To learn that some relationships just don’t work for you or are toxic or destructive and need to end, and to learn about “healthy terminations.”
Session 12 – Rebuilding for the future &Caring for the Children of Divorce
- To focus on outcomes and solutions
- To begin to reclaim our dreams and aspirations
- To gain a deeper perspective on our life
- To consider how you might help others who are in a similar situation to how you used to be before you began this Recovery Programme
- To understand that children of divorce have their own recovery process and to explore ways in which you can help them- whether you are a parent or not
Other topics which may be explored, as time allows, during the course of the programme include:
Friendships & Loneliness
- To understand that friendships are often tested during divorce and that while some may end, others will begin and that the ending of friendships at this time often has little to do with you and more to do with the insecurities of the friends involved
- To appreciate the perspective that finding time to be alone and experiencing solitude are an important part of the recovery process
- To understand the importance of letting go.
- To identify ways to help you let go
- To help you let go of your fears
- Understanding the importance of helping children to let go
- To become comfortable with your own sexuality.
- To feel more comfortable talking with others about sexuality.
- To recognise that your questions and concerns about sex and sexuality are similar to those of the opposite sex.
- To feel empowered to live your life to the full and to become the person you’ve always wanted to be.
- To learn and use affirmations that will help you better appreciate the beauty of your sexuality.
- To reflect on the things you’ve learned and the ways you’ve grown over the past number of weeks.
- To become comfortable being single again.
- To learn to be happy as a single person,
- To see being single as an acceptable alternative lifestyle.
- Becoming a whole person rather than a half-person looking for the
other lost half
- Investing in my own personal growth rather than looking for another love relationship