If so you may be interested to know that the next  ’Wings’ group is soon to begin!

This group aims to help you understand and deal with commonly felt emotions such as anger, fear, denial etc in friendly, relaxed surroundings where confidentiality is totally respected.  Members of past groups have struck up great and lasting friendships through ‘Wings’ and in fact many participants have described the sessions as “life changing”.

The course will not only help you understand how things went so wrong but also show you how to avoid history repeating itself in future relationships. It also equips you to identify and cope with parenting issues which can arise at these times of stress when parents are often at odds with each other.

The weekly fee is very affordable and the group size is limited so…….why not take the first step to recovery and comfort to-day by enrolling with us now – contact Berni on 0872 049 047 or 04293 51578 (office)

We would be grateful if you would share this info on your social networking sites – we know that there are many anxious people out there in need of ‘Wings’ Support – THANKS!

It is a 12 week program (one evening per week) designed to help you understand and learn how to cope better with the emotional ups and downs which are common in these circumstances. Emotions and feelings such as Denial, Grief, Fear, Anger and Loneliness are discussed in a safe, friendly and confidential forum and ways and means of moving on and rebuilding lives are explored.

Previous ‘Wings’ participants say that the group was a “life changing experience”.

Numbers are strictly limited – if you or anyone you know is interested in joining us, contact Berni on 0872 049 047 or 04293 4251578 as soon as possible to reserve a place.

 Hopefully you are on good terms with your children’s other parent and you can try to negotiate as early as possible to arrange times and days to see the children. If so, great, but if relationships are strained and agreement difficult, then Family Mediation can help you explore the best options and solutions for you. For example, if the ‘other’ parent has the children on Christmas Day, perhaps accommodation could be made so that you could instead organise a Christmas for you and the children on one of the other special festive days, or arrange a time on Christmas Day itself when you can give the children their presents. Perhaps you could even alternate the years, so that you get to spend Christmas Day with the children every other year.

Exploring the options available, reaching an agreement and being flexible will work to everyone’s benefit.

A rota is valuable so that both children and parents know in advance where, when and with whom they will be spending the festive days – this will benefit everyone in the long run. This doesn’t make it less painful, but it makes it easier to plan early celebrations and visits to relatives so no-one feels they’re missing out.

On the subject of relatives – don’t forget that Christmas can also affect grandparents. The parents of the non-resident parent may be unlikely to see their grandchildren at Christmas which can be upsetting. Like the non-resident parent, grandparents could try to organise a special day, or a time around Christmas, when they could give their grandchildren their presents and enjoy their company.

 Another important aspect of Christmas arrangements for parents to consider through mediation is that the time you do actually spend with your children over Christmas should be special. Many separated parents try to ‘outdo’ each other – this is likely to lead to stress and disappointment, as at least one parent often can’t live up to the expectations and may end up feeling second best.  When one parent is spending a large amount on expensive gifts, or taking the children on a costly holiday for example, the other parent may feel that he or she can’t offer the same amount and this in turn can lead to a great deal of heartache.  A budget plan is usually high on the Agenda and is a good idea for separated parents approaching Christmas – these can save not only a great deal of  unnecessary stress but also cash as well since it can prevent parents effectively doubling up on expensive gifts and allow them to control their spending more wisely.

Mediating a suitable plan for this special time of year helps you avoid last minute confusion and potential arguments while at the same time ensuring that each parent gets the opportunity to enjoy time with their child/ren.

 See Change Family Mediation Services (www.seechangemediation.ie) can provide you with a safe and neutral forum where, as parents, you can negotiate a plan that best suits your family. We will then help you draw up a suitable agreement in advance of Christmas and create a Calendar which will help both you and your children enjoy the holiday to the full without uncertainty.

In the run-up to Christmas we are accustomed to working extra hours to facilitate parents who are anxious to put suitable arrangements in place for the holiday period. As well as the usual office hours we offer evening and Saturday times by appointment.

We would recommend that you don’t leave things until the last minute – the earlier that access arrangements are agreed – the sooner you can begin to relax and enter into the festive spirit.

Cheers!!

When there is conflict of interest between parents and neither side will give an inch, it is likely that there will be no room to hear, listen to or take any notice of their children. The children, although they will need to speak and will have plenty to speak about, will necessarily bury their painful feelings in order to be able to get on with coping with everyday life. And so, like Molly, they will end up exhausted and confused while at the same time full of questions, fear, anger, panic and other negative emotions that will make them feel embattled as they attempt to move forward with their lives.

Instead of trying to enlist more tiny soldiers into their own particular ‘army’ it would be far better if parents would seek help via mediation, counselling or through a programme such as ‘Wings’ to create an environment where children can function as children rather than as referees, would it not?

From devoted reader Ivan Foster, a disturbing tale of a marriage not quite made in heaven.

An American cop pulls over a speeding car on Pacific Coast Highway just north of Los Angeles. The policeman walks over to the car, looks in sternly and says: “I clocked you at 90 miles per hour, sir.”

“But officer, I had it on cruise control at 70. Maybe your radar gun needs calibrating,” says the driver.

Not looking up from her knitting, his wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”

As the officer writes out the speeding ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls: “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

His wife smiles demurely and says: “You should be thankful that your radar detector went off when it did.”

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth: “Bloody hell, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”

The officer frowns and says:”And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic fine.”

“Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that i could get my licence out of my back pocket.”

His wife says:”Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

As the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks: “WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks: “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

“Only when he’s been drinking,” says the wife.

At See Change Practice we coach people through their bad times, we listen without judging and very often can help folk re-frame their challenges and emerge with a healthier, more positive outlook on their lives. Not only that ……… you gain a tool-kit of useful techniques which can benefit you for the rest of your life!

If you would like to talk to us in confidence; call now. Or if you would prefer – send us an e-mail and we’ll reply as soon as we can.

Take action……NOW…..TO-DAY….. THINK…… if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got!

Author unknown

Author unknown

John F Kennedy.